We've all had that breakup or had a relationship of some sort end and we're hurt, mad, and upset, it's normal right? But the hard part for me is taking responsibility for WHY I'm so mad and hurt and really understanding it. And here is how it went as I wrote myself a letter yesterday....
"Dear ME,
It sucks when you finally realize that someone will never care for you the way you do for them. It hurts when they make you feel as though you just weren't enough, but what really sucks is when you realize that you saw all the signs ahead of time and you still allowed yourself to stay in the situation. So who are you really mad at??
I'm mad at myself for knowing I was being lied to and letting it go. I'm mad at myself for ignoring all of the red flags because I saw the good. I'm mad at myself for going back even when I knew I was setting myself up for another fall. I'm mad at myself for loving someone who never even thought of loving me. I'm mad at myself for trying to see the good in someone who was too busy noticing the good in 10 other women. I'm mad at myself for making excuses when I knew the truth. I'm mad at myself for caring so much that walking away felt like it was going to break me. I'm mad at myself for giving away an important part of me to someone it didn't matter to and who didn't see how hard it had been to even find that piece again. I'm mad at myself for allowing someone to take me back to a place I had finally healed from. I'm mad at myself for forgiving him and not yet forgiving myself...."
Forgiving ourselves for the choices and mistakes we have made is so important. It doesn't matter how many times we forgive another person we will still carry the baggage and the pain with us until we can forgive ourselves.
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