Self Doubt

We all have moments of self doubt and wondering if we are "enough" but how do we grow past these dips in the road and allow ourselves to show our true talents and become what we were meant to be??

 How many times have you sat in a room and let yourself think that someone was judging you for your past mistakes, the way you were dressed, or things they had heard about you? I am so guilty of this...

Just this last Sunday as I sat in church, I saw a gentleman that I had known for years. Our sons have played ball together and our families had spent many weekend trips away at tournaments. As the services went on and I saw him looking at me occasionally with what I saw as a "judging" or "disapproving" stare my self doubt went crazy! I seriously had to start talking myself away from the edge... I knew my outfit was on point and appropriate. My hair, while maybe a little poofy for my liking, looked good. So why was he looking at me? Was it because of the tattoos which he, and everyone else in town, knew I had? Was it because he knew of some of my past mistakes and he didn't think I should be there?? Was I really good enough to be sitting in the house of the lord? YES these are the thoughts that went soaring through my head!

I knew I wasn't the same person I had been in the past. I also knew I wasn't perfect but I was trying so hard to be a better person and not make the same mistakes. I let these thoughts control my mood for the rest of the day... I couldn't get the anxious, self loathing, never going to be good enough feeling to go away.

So I went to see a good friend of mine that had some of the same struggles in the past, but was well on his way down the road that I was heading down. As I told him how I had been feeling and why, he took my self doubt and threw it out the window. He turned all of the horrible things I had going through my head in to positive. He made me see and feel the light that I knew was inside of me burning brighter every day. He filled my cup when I had let it be emptied. He reminded me that we are all Gods children and in his eyes we are always "enough". That no matter the sins of our past or the ones we make daily, he forgives us and loves us unconditionally.

I know now that the self doubt I was feeling was the adversary making me doubt who I am and who I'm striving to become. I am so thankful for the strength of the people in my life that have shown me and keep showing me that I AM ENOUGH and I can forgive myself for the past mistakes I have made and be the person I am meant to be.