Friday, February 19, 2016

SERIAL DATERS

SERIAL DATERS

I read a quote this morning that hit so close to home it was scary. It's something I have told my friends and even people I've dated in the past "I don't date without a purpose. I don't date just to occupy my time. Being in a relationship won't heal you and being single won't kill you."

I have had so many people ask me over the years why I won't date a few different men at the same time until I find the "right one". This "idea" has never made any sense to me. First off I have never been a woman that "needed" or couldn't live my life without a man. My momma must have raised me a little too independent because I know without a doubt that I can make it on my own. Now this doesn't mean I don't WANT someone to love me and spend my time with, but there's a difference. Needing and wanting are two completely different things and a lot of people don't seem to understand that.

I have met a few men (and women) who think it's "okay" to date several people at the same time with no commitment, filling there time with multiple women until someone "better" comes along. THIS is sad to me. Are other peoples feelings really not a big deal when you're dating? Is it really okay to mess with someone's emotions for weeks or months at a time, and the just toss them aside when something shinier comes along? Is the fear of being single so scary that we just don't care who we hurt? I've been told that "this is just how the world works" and on that I call bullsh*t! That is how some people CHOOSE to act towards others.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned but for me to date even just once, I have to feel a connection. I don't date without purpose. I am happy with myself and I enjoy my own company and the company of my friends. I don't need several random men in my life taking up my time when I have no REAL connection with them. I have a bigger journey that I would love to have someone take with me but I won't just settle for anyone. In fact the idea of several men texting or calling me every day makes me actually cringe. I don't have nor do I want to have time for that.

Will I find this Mr. Right without internet dating and dating every man that asks me out?? I have a strong enough faith in the big guy upstairs to know that when the right guy comes along he will show me the way. I've met and dated SO many Mr. Wrongs, Mr. Serial Daters, Mr. Narcissists, and Mr. Selfish/Self Centered that I'm REALLY very good with sticking to my heart and dating only one person at a time. 

I think the saddest part of all of this serial dating to me is that are these people so insecure and afraid of commitment that instead of giving their all to one special person they will risk losing them for the satisfaction of the attention they get from several other women? Once again this makes no sense to me.... and that is why I date with a purpose.

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