I saw this meme this morning of Facebook and boy did it hit home, not only in my romantic life but all the way around. The concept that everyone loves differently has been a hard one for me to accept. I used to give my love and friendship away freely and then I would be disappointed when I didn't receive the same back. This is not a new concept for me but one that I am trying really hard to understand and acknowledge in all of my relationships.
Who doesn't get their feelings hurt when they continually go out of their way for someone they feel is important in their lives, and in return they get crumbs back? I know I'm not the only one out there but I always wonder if this affects men and women in the same way?
I've had a few relationships in the past that have really made me wonder... I give it my all and try to make sure the person whom I'm giving my attention to knows how much I care about them and that they are important to me, but in return I tend to get their leftover crumbs of time. It wasn't until a friend of mine told me recently something that her husband had shared with her that it started to make a little more sense to me. "Not everyone loves the same." WHAT?!?
In the past few weeks I have tried to remember this when get my feelings hurt by someone else's actions but to be honest I haven't got it down quite yet. Don't get me wrong here I am definitely not saying that it's "ok" for someone to lead you on, pretend they have more feelings for you than you do, take you for granted, and throw that hook in and keep reeling and casting it as they please, because trust me that is wrong and something I've dealt with very recently. What I'm saying is WE can't expect someone we love or we are friends with to reciprocate the exact actions that we are willing to show because they are not us.
Do I like this concept? Um... hell no! Is it something I am going to have to learn so I am not continually disappointed with people in my life... I'm afraid so. This is disheartening to me at times because when I LOVE.... I REALLY love! I will go out of my way to make the CHOICE to make time for the important people in my life. I'm that crazy one who will drive two hours just to see them for an hour, share their smile, and steal a kiss. And the hard truth that a lot of people are not the same.... well it really sucks!
The confusing part to me that I am still trying to figure out is how do you know if someone love differently than you or if they really are one of those people, I like to call "playas", that really just like having you around along with several others?? You would think by now at the age of 42 I would have figured that one out, but I obviously have not and I still get the line casted and reeled back in more than I would like. I know there is a balance I need to find because I'm also the one that when I've had enough... I'm just done and they will either be blocked from my life or sent directly to the "blackhole of friend zones" where once you land you will never resurface as a few of my male friends have described it.
So the question is how do you love??? Have you learned a balance?
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