We all want that apology or explanation after our heart has been broken of "why you felt it was okay to treat me the way you did"or the "I'm sorry for breaking your heart", but truthfully how many of us ever get it?
I personally have never received either in all of my relationships or after a break up. And finally one day I realized that my expectations were too high. I mean really if someone breaks your heart, whether it be by cheating, lying, or just walking away do you really think that they feel obligated to help in the healing of your heart? Not most people...
I guess I see it a little different though. If I hurt someone whether it be by accident or by doing something I know full well will cause damage to them... I feel guilty. I have come to realize that even when a relationship ends with someone I truly loved and cared for that I always hold a special place for them in my heart. I am one of those who beats myself up for my mistakes and can't forgive myself until I have made things right with that person. There is only one person I have ever dated (excluding recent circumstances) or been in a relationship with that I am not friends with or haven't made things right with whether the break up was my fault or there's. And trust me he was one that I'm okay with never making it right...
I have learned that in forgiving yourself you must forgive the other person first. I will say that right now my heart is working on forgiveness for someone I love and care deeply about but couldn't stay with because the emotional roller coaster was too much for my heart. I do know that I have already started to forgive even though it's still so fresh and my heart is still aching... But this forgiveness is not for him... It is for me. So that I can heal and release him from my heart. My heart knows it should never expect to hear an "I'm sorry" or and explanation as to why things happened the way they did but it really would be nice to know that our love culture hasn't drifted so far that we can't still care about another's broken heart....
When did we as a society start acting as though hurting another was okay? When did loving someone become so easy that making them feel like a break up was just "easy come easy go?
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