In the past few months I have had a decision that I have been struggling with non-stop. Every time I would "think" I had finally made my choice, I would talk myself out of it and be right back where I started.
I've been contemplating a big move back to the town I was so happy to get out of 3 years ago, and honestly I have really been struggling at the thought of coming back. When I left I was ecstatic! I was not going to be stuck in this little town where everyone knows my business, and if they don't know they just made it up anyway. I was finally going to be able to find a decent man to date and not someone everyone in town had dated or been married to. I was escaping and I vowed to never move back.... Well like they say "Never say never".
About 6 months ago my son, which was the main reason for our move in the first place, decided he wanted to finish high school back home.... in that little town that I had finally escaped from. I was devastated but decided to let him and something told me I would end up back there too.
I have always been the person who tries to turn everything over to God and let things happen the way they are supposed to.... I'm not always the best at being patient while this happens but I really do try. This was one of those decisions I needed to turn over to him, and so I started praying about it. I could not make the decision to move back on my own. In fact I was getting quite accustomed to going and doing whatever I wanted and not being tied to one spot. And then I prayed about it again.... and this time I asked him to please show me a sign of where I was supposed to be. I needed to know if I was supposed to be here or if I was truly going to be on the right path somewhere else. I found myself almost begging him to please help me make the decision that needed to be made. I never thought I would get my answer as soon as I did or the way I did...
I was in that small little town and went to church with a friend of mine and his family. I have come to love this ward, it's one of the few wards I feel completely comfortable. The bishop is amazing and from the first time I attended I felt at home. Well this morning I walked in to sacrament and the first person I ran in to was the bishop. As he started talking to me he asked if I had moved back yet. I told him that I hadn't yet and that I wasn't sure what to do. That I had turned it over to God and was just waiting for him to show me where I needed to be. And that's when he said "You can't wait for him to just show you the way. You need to lay out your options and make a choice of which one you're going to do. You need to put that plan in to action and then pray about it. If it isn't the right path then he will let you know. I don't want you to feel pressured but we really would love to have you here in our ward." All I could do is stare at him, I was a little shocked and then he started again "If you're on a path to the temple, you need to pick a ward and be settled. You have a lot more to learn and even more to teach those around you". And at that moment I knew that the guidance I asked for from God the night before was being given to me now.
I must have had a confused or shocked look on my face because my friend asked me what he had said to me. When I told him and his wife they just smiled and kind of chuckled. My point with this whole post is that when we as for guidance from God it doesn't always come with the answer we want or expect, it comes with the answer that is best for us and the one that will put us on the path that will lead us back to our Heavenly Father.
This was not the answer I wanted to hear nor the decision I wanted to make, but I asked and I received, so now it's time for me to be humble and follow the path he has set for me.
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