We all believe that we will be able to spot HIM... that only those other naïve girls will be swept away by his games. The truth is a player can be THAT good, especially if he's had years to perfect
his skills, and hone in on what women want, giving it to them in such small doses that they keep coming back for more. He always knows exactly what to say and falling for his womanizing is easy. But if you watch for the signs.... you may be able to avoid the heartbreak of being played.
1. His words do not match his actions- He makes plans that he doesn't keep. If you try to pin him down more than a week in advance you will be standing on shaky ground. Wondering if your plans will come to pass until you are until you are in the midst of them. When he does make plans they are usually last minute. He talks about the future, even in short term, but never follows through.
2. He comes on strong- There is instant chemistry. You both feel it. The texting begins almost immediately. Intimate conversations. Setting up the next date because he must see you. He will not let you slip away, no matter how you resist. And when you try to pull away he comes on stronger.
3. He pulls back, even disappears, as soon as things start going well- Now you're hooked! The relationship you think you're building is moving along nicely. You get along great! The sex/intimacy is amazing! And you are pretty sure that he's THE ONE! Then all of a sudden he slams on the brakes. You are left wondering what happened and what you did to cause this outcome. And sadly you most likely will never know.
4. You spend a lot of time analyzing what he says- He says he adores you. He loves spending time with you. Loves the person that you are. He texts you that he misses you, calls you pet names, and that he wants to see you, but the relationship never seems to progress. If you need to analyze what he says, he most likely doesn't mean it. If a guy is only interested in seeing you, his intentions will be obvious.
5. He still has an active online dating profile- If he still maintains an active online dating profile or profiles long after you've started dating. It's time to find someone new. If a monogamous relationship is what you're looking for... you're not going to find it with him. Waiting for someone to change should never be a consideration.
6. Most of his friends are women- Most of his friends in his daily life are women... and also on social media. Conversation never reveals if he is having sex or has had sex with any of these "friends". You are left wondering if you are any more "special" than any of these women... and most likely you are not.
7. He constantly talks about the women he's dated/ been married to- If he is always talking about the women from his "past" it's a sure sign that he isn't over those relationships and you may want to think about getting out before you get hurt. Common courtesy in dating says to not continually talk about your past relationships.
8- If he ignores and skirts around serious relationship questions- When you try to pin him down by asking direct questions about your "relationship" and he either completely ignores them or only answers what he wants to... he most likely doesn't have the same idea of where you're at in your relationship, and it may be time to move on.
9- Your gut tells you so- Women's intuition is REAL. Trust it! If you think your guy is a player, chances are it is you who is being played!
10- There is never a goodbye- No matter how many times either one of you "breaks" it off, it's never really over. Somehow he always seems to reappear waving a flag like "here I am", even if it's a red one. Never promising more, only toying with your emotions, making you wonder if this time things will be different. The problem is.... they never are. At some point it comes time to recognize the cycle, and break it.
11- His track record for commitment is very poor- If the guy you are dating has been dating for years (serial dater check the blog) and has no record of a monogamous relationship that lasts more than a year, it is wise to question whether or not he can or will not offer you the commitment you desire. Though there are exceptions to every rule, and people can and do change, the odds are not stacked in your favor.
12. He introduces you or refers to you as a friend- A guy who is serious about you will make you his girlfriend. He will want you and every other man in the world to know to know you are unavailable. If he refers to you as a friend in public or private, he is making sure everyone knows his options are still open. If he introduces you as a friend or even a friend of a friend... here's your sign!
13. Disappears to the bathroom no matter where you are for long periods of time- If your guy disappears to the bathroom or another room with his phone for long periods of time... don't think he isn't returning texts or checking in on his other "friends".
Break the cycle.... GAME OVER!
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