BUSY WEEK!

BUSY WEEK!

Holiday weeks are usually really hard for me when it comes to meal time. One of my kids favorites is Superbowl Chili. You can cook it on the stove or all day in the crock pot.

Superbowl Chili

2 lbs ground beef or ground turkey (I use turkey)
29 oz Kidney beans ( I use canned and usually 2 cans of each)
29 oz pinto beans
29 oz tomato sauce
1 cup onion, diced
1/2 cup green chile diced
3 medium tomatoes ( I use stewed canned tomatoes)
2 teaspoons cumin powder ( I actually season to taste)
3 tablespoons chili powder ( season to taste)
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp salt
2 cups water



Brown the ground meat in skillet and drain fat. Using a fork, crumble the cooked meat. In a large pot or crockpot combine all ingredients. Stove top cook for 30 minutes stirring every 10 minutes. Crockpot leave on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Makes 12 servings

MY Faith, MY Life, and MY Choices

MY Faith, MY Life, and MY Choices

This post is going to be pretty controversial in the sense that I am sure I will have quite a few friends and family who are appalled, disappointed, worried, and some that will even walk away from me BUT this is MY life, MY faith, and MY choice so here goes....

I was raised in the LDS religion growing up. I didn't give it a chance and ran fast and hard the minute I turned 18 and my mom couldn't make me go anymore. I stayed completely away from any sort of GOD talk and religion for close to 17 years. I pushed people away who tried to "preach" to me or who told me I just needed to find GOD. In fact I was not very nice to them and even cut off relationships with family and friends just so I didn't have to hear it.

When my daughter was in high school she went to work for a family that not only took great care of her but would eventually make a huge difference in our little family. The more time I spent with them the more I learned about God and opened my heart and soul back up to him. I learned things that would change my life forever. I built a very strong faith in God during that time, one that has never faltered even in the roughest parts of my life since then. I started taking Catechism classes with my daughter and some friends because I knew that I wanted to be a part of something bigger and to me at the time this was where I needed to be and where I felt at home. I was baptized Catholic and even went on to teach a Sunday school class with a friend who helped teach me so many amazing things.

I know all of this seems weird to so many of you who have known me for so many years but I think you'll find that there are many things about this journey that you didn't know.

I faithfully attended mass and loved the feeling that worshipping God brought to my life. I still struggled during this time with worldly things and I knew deep in my soul that there was more for means I needed to continue to push forward.

A few years later my son and I moved to SLC to not only give him better opportunities but also a chance for me to start over and get away from all of the small town drama that kept pulling me down. I put my faith in God and was amazed at how everything just seemed to fall in to place for us. I fell in to a great job. Found a condo through a friends mom. The landlords son happened to be the principal of the high school I wanted my son to attend and play ball for... And we were able to permit him in even though we lived outside the boundaries. I knew I was on the right path. And only because I had turned this over to God and asked him to lead the way.

My struggles didn't stop because we moved and in fact I went through one of the biggest challenges I have ever had and thankfully through lots of prayer and faith in God that he wouldn't let this take me down I made it through. It's been a rough couple of years but I have never lost my faith in God and have come to realize that when I'm struggling it's because I'm not allowing him to lead me down the path he has set for me but trying to make decisions on my own and/ or trying to speed up the process. As an independent woman who's never relied or been able to rely on many... Giving up and letting go so that he can lead me has been so very hard, but so amazing when I allow it to happen.

Very few people know but for the last 6 months I have felt like I'm lost. I have known that there is something bigger and better out there for me. Something that would bring great happiness and joy to my life. Something that would help me to follow the right path and be able to learn, teach, and find all the knowledge that my heart desires. That I seem to have been craving.

I'm at a point in my life where very soon it will be just me... My sweet beautiful daughter is 22. She is building a wonderful life with her amazing boyfriend and hopefully one day a family. (Fingers and toes crossed!!!) My handsome, big hearted, extremely talented son is 17. He decided he hated the city life and moved back to his hometown which broke my heart but he is doing wonderful. And hopefully I will be there with the both of them again very soon. The point I'm trying to make is at 41 years old I am almost an empty nester... A single empty nester. Which scares the hell out of me!!

During this time I have prayed for guidance. Prayed for God to please help me to know the path that he wants me to take. The path that will lead me to happiness and to where he wants me to be. Over and over again that path seems to be back with my children in the small town that a few years ago almost swallowed me whole. I just seem to keep getting pulled back in that direction. I have tried to once again make my own decisions and every time I say I'm staying here or I can't go back there my life is fine right now. I get shown something completely different. But that's not the only lesson I'm learning though all of this either so let's get back to where I started... Religion.

I have never been one to judge anyone for their beliefs or what religion they have chose to have in their lives. I will admit that until very recently I would make the conscious decision to not date someone of a certain religion because at that time I knew their beliefs and lifestyle were not compatible with mine. I was given a lot of grief over it because I would not give them a chance but my thinking was "I don't want to lead you on or get attached to you because our lives are not compatible so I just won't date you and let you get close at all." It worked for me at the time and I wasn't hurting them.

About 2 months ago things started to change in my life yet again. Some of my friends started talking to me about the LDS religion. I started to hang out with a man that was LDS. A friend of mine who I've ALWAYS been able to talk about anything and everything with was marrying a man who was LDS. She was someone who had always helped me to search and read. I didn't know it at the time but she was my "Jonathan". Different people who I hadn't heard from in a long time started to show back up and talk to me about the religion. And it sparked my interest. I started to try and learn more but on my own. I wasn't ready for anyone to know. I knew there would be judgement and people who would try to pull me back from "the dark side" but I was not prepared for the extent of it.

Up until now there are only a handful of people who know my feelings and the extent of the searching and investigating I have been doing. And here is where I'm sure the controversy will begin...

In October I was out working in my yard and playing with my dog. The missionaries walked up and started a conversation with me. Before this day I would have nicely but firmly told them I was Catholic and was not interested in learning any more about their church. But that's not what happened on that day... I talked with them and I invited them to come back to my home.

I confided in only a few people I held close to me because I knew there would be no judgement from them and I needed that security to take the next steps in my journey.

The first night the missionaries came to my home I was SO nervous!! What was I doing?? Why did I think that this was the place for me?? ME... The woman who's been divorced, baptized a different religion, tattooed, drank coffee, and had a not so pretty past many sins??? And then I remembered God... And he was why. He had led me to this place and I knew he would lead me through it to where I needed to be. And I felt such an amazing spirit when these round men walked in to my home and started to talk about the gospel. I was in shock! Everything that they were saying to me was what I needed to hear just at that time. They asked me why I was investigating the LDS church and I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth. I went on for a good 5 minutes about my beliefs. My faith in God. The way I had seen prayer work in my life. And how just that night I had an amazing conversation with my brother on prayer and faith. What they said to me next I will never forget. One Elder whom I have come to adore said "I can feel your spirit and testimony of God and that's not something we usually feel on a first visit." The other one said "You already have such a strong testimony. I can feel how special you are to the people in your life and to God."

The next morning when I was struggling with why this church??? Yes I'm that hard headed! I sent a text off to four important people in my life that I respected and cared for. All were members and all had strong testimonies. I needed to know why they believed. There was on text back that hit me hard and actually brought tears to my eyes because it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. It wasn't preaching to me (which I still struggle with) but it was in simple words and very straight forward, and I hope he doesn't kill me for posting.. "What I feel is most important is to learn about it, pray about it, and follow what you FEEL. Not what you think or what others say.  I've seen those who get baptized for family or because they THINK it's right.   Then there are those who go off of what they FEEL and those are the ones who benefit the most.  The Holy Ghost is there to testify of truth and most of the time he does that through feelings.  I'm not a scholar or a gospel guru.   I can't intellectually explain why I know the gospel is true, I just had it witnessed to me through how I feel that this is christs church.  I know a lot of people look down on the church for people saying that but it comes down to priesthood line of authority that makes this church different from others.  Don't let other people affect how you feel.  There are judgmental pricks in any religion.  If we were perfect we wouldn't need the gospel, the gospel is here because no one is perfect.   You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father and you are absolutely good enough!!!   Don't let anyone tell you any different. You know I'm ALWAYS here for you any time you need to talk or have questions.  Put your stubbornness into learning About the church, and getting the answers you are looking for and you'll be fine.  I know how stubborn you are.   😉"

And so my journey has continued. Yes I have the missionaries still visiting me. Yes I have been attending church. YES I actually enjoy it and feel completely comfortable. Yes I am continuing to learn, research, read, and ask millions of questions. And YES I have had so many people and things in life come at my hard since I started all of this and it's not knocking me down. I have been told things that the church supposedly believes. I have been told that I'm joining a cult and that some people can't be apart of my life because of that. I have been ridiculed. I have been told I'm only doing this because some guy I fell for belongs to this church. Sorry all of them are wrong. And I'm pretty sure the people who truly know me know I would never make this huge change in my life for a man. I'm a hell of a lot stronger and hard headed than that. BUT here's what you don't know... I have been blessed! I have been blessed with clarity, calmness, strength, and love from my Heavenly Father and the people who support me. And that to me is what makes me excited to continue this journey!

I know this post was very long and probably a great surprise to most. So I'll end it now with this... Don't let people in your life discourage you from becoming who you are meant to be. Pray for the guidance and the clarity to make the decision on your own. And follow the path that God has set out for you.

GARBAGE DAY!

I've been told lately that my expectations are too high and that I expect too much from people. Is it really wrong to expect people to be honest, to follow through with what they say, to not play games, and just be a good person? I don't think so but then I end up getting hurt. 

I've always been that person who goes the extra mile to spend time with my friends, the person I'm dating, and family. Do I always get that same effort back in return... No I don't. Does it disappoint me... Yes it does. Am I going to change how I act because other people don't reciprocate my same effort? No I'm not, and here is why...

When I care about someone I give it my all. I do this because I was taught never to do anything half way. If you are doing a job, do it the best you can. If you care about someone and there's a possibility that they are apart of your future, give it your all. How can you love someone and not give them the best you? To not give them all of can makes no sense to me. 

We can't change people, and we shouldn't try. Have you ever noticed that if you are giving your all and being the best person possible that the people around you start trying a little harder? 

So here is my GARBAGE DAY... No matter how anyone else in my life chooses to act.... I will continue to give my all, make the extra effort whether it's to see them, call them, check on them, or just shoot them a little text to say hi. I'm kicking the hard feelings to the curb of them not reciprocating this back. Is it me dropping my expectations of people by doing this? No but it will save me a lot of hurt feelings and heartache. We can't make people act the way we want them to but we can react in a way that may make them think a little harder about how they do act. HAPPY GARBAGE DAY!

DATING DISASTERS- What you shouldn't do if you want a 2nd date...

I gathered these dating what NOT to do's from friends of mine and also from my own dating disaster experiences... and NO these are not in number order.

1. Tell you that you are as beautiful as their ex...

2. Lick your face like a dog

3. Ask you to pay

4.Talk endlessly about themselves

5.Drink too much

6. Tell you about their recent DUI while having a pre dinner drink

7. Ask you about the car at your house the night before (just flat out creepy!)

8.Meet you at the door with a glass of wine with Lionel Richie playing "Say you, Say Me" in the background.

9. Stab your steak off of your dinner plate and yell "yum"

10. call you dude and buddy (immediate friendzone)

11. Ask to meet my kids

12. Drive like a bat out of hell (100 plus) in your sports car on unlit streets full of wildlife because you think it's "impressive"

13. Bring your 15 year old daughter on the date with you so she can interrogate and see if she "passes"

14. Ask for sex

15. Tell her you're kind of still married but not really because you sleep in separate beds (WHAT???)

16.Tell her about the "sex toy" business you and your ex owned and describe your inventory in detail.

17. Cell phone checker, texter, FB, email, caller.... etc.

18. Tell stories about your ex or exes (complete turnoff)

19. Fart... and yes this must happen because it was said a few times.

20. Assume that there will be a 2nd date

21. Tell that they dated your sister once but you're much hotter?!

22. Not walking you to your car, or door.


And we wonder why dating is so hard anymore? From my own personal experiences... I almost cringe at the thought of a first date because you just NEVER know what's going to happen!

SEARCHING....

When I was eighteen years old I thought I knew it all and could conquer the world... HA! I left home, left the religion I was raised in, moved to another state, got pregnant, got married, and went on to make about 18 years of mistakes. The only good choices that I made during that time were having two amazing children who taught me what love was truly all about. I don't usually share all of my "dirty laundry" with people but if just one person learns from my mistakes or it makes them see that they're not alone then it's worth it. 

 I used to have this attraction to "bad boys".... the wild adventurous life style the portrayed just seemed to catch my attention. They were always so exciting in the beginning, but it never lasted long. A normal person would have learned after the first but me "the fixer" needed to learn the lesson over and over before it finally hit home that I wanted and deserved better. So after a few toxic relationships I decided I was done. Not done making bad decisions by all means but done with toxic men... well at least for a few years. I was finally ready to do it on my own, even though technically I had been basically on my own for a few years even though I was married. 

Being raised by a single parent had shown me that you can do anything you set your mind to. It might not always go as you think it should but one way or another making sure your kids have food on the table, a roof over their heads, and clothes on their backs was the priority. I was lucky to have a few people in my life to help and guide me along the way but it was never really easy. About the time my daughter was turning 15 things started to change. We had some friends/family come in to our lives who showed me some amazing things and made me want more out of life. I started to find my spiritual side again. Something that for the past 16 years I had ran as far away from as I could get. They helped me to see the bigger picture, to see that I could never do it all on my own. A very valuable lesson that I still hold with me, BUT it didn't stop me from making a bad choice and having to learn another lesson, one that I was lucky enough to make it out of with ONLY emotional scars and a battered and bruised self esteem. That was just a little over a year ago.... a lot has changed!

Right before school started this year my 17 year old decided he wanted to move back to the small town where he was raised and where I felt I had finally escaped from to give him a better life. At first I was heartbroken... I had moved our entire lives 200 miles away to give him the dream he had been working for since he was 8 years old. When I saw the look in his eyes as he told me he would rather never play baseball again and move back home I knew that this was another lesson I had to learn but also a good lesson for him to learn. It was then that I really started searching.... I of course couldn't just up and move back so I had to let go and let him go without me until I could make the change. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life! I wasn't expecting to be alone yet?? I still had 2 more years of school with him to figure out what I was going to do with my life! He's my baby!! I was definitely NOT ready! I was finally getting things right... Why was this happening?

As hard as it's been to adjust to being alone when I've been a mom for 22 years... it has also been good for me. At first I was scared, sad, and I didn't know if I would make it... and then I started searching. I was finally ready to find myself! To find my place in this crazy world, and to find the path that I was meant to be on but for so many years had run away from. To accept myself for ME! To forgive myself for all of the mistakes and bad decisions I had made along the way. And to know that I am never really alone in this big crazy world and no matter what there is always one person bigger than all of the rest that had my back. 

So with the people who are closest to me for support (and sometimes just to keep me sane)  I will continue forward searching for the better me. 

Manic Monday!!

I don't know about you but being a single mom with kids who have a crazy busy schedule is hard most days. For some reason Mondays have always been SUPER chaotic for me. I'm not sure if it's because I've let my guard down for the weekend and tried to relax or if it's just getting back in to the swing of things for a crazy week. 

We are a baseball family so we have a lot of late nights during the Spring, Summer, and Fall. This tends to mess with meal time and my budget. I've learned to plan on a slow cooker meal for these nights because the growing teen-man in my house can eat ALOT! 

One of the favorite slow cooker meals at our house is Salsa Chicken... and it's so SIMPLE! All you need is...

4 to 6 chicken breasts (depending on the size of your family)

2-cups of salsa (I dump a full bottle)

1/2 pack of taco seasoning

1-can of black beans 

1-cup sour cream (I leave this out because I'm trying to watch my girlish figure)

1-can cream of chicken soup (Yes I leave this out too :()

4 to 6 servings of rice ( I use brown rice)

Place the chicken in your slow cooker on low. Pour the taco seasoning over the chicken then add your salsa. Cover and leave cooking. I leave my house by 6:00 AM every morning with this set on low. I have never had an issue with burnt or dry chicken. About 30 minutes before you're ready to serve add the black beans, sour cream, and cream of chicken soup. Make your rice and serve your chicken on top of it. 

Just an easy meal that will definitely fill up any family and leave the moms a little happier because the dinner will almost be ready when you walk in the door. This helps me out a lot during my crazy schedule and helps me be a little less stressed and irritable when I'm being asked "what's for dinner?" the minute my son climbs in the car after ball. 

TASER BOY-

We all have that friend who seems to have random off the wall things happen to her on a regular basis. I definitely have that friend and between her stories and mine I can guarantee quite a few laughs, moments of sheer shock, and even a few OMG's and not believing it could ever be true moments. Let me promise you now EVERYTHING you read on this blog... As scary, sad, and hysterical as it may be has definitely happened.

Let's start with Taser Boy... A few years ago a friend of mine was living in an adorable duplex across town from me. The oilfield was in boom at the time so it was pretty common for the bigger companies to rent places out for their employees to stay while they were in town for long periods of time. Her duplex neighbors happened to be a house full of these guys.

One night as she was sitting on the couch watching tv she heard the door knob turn and thought it was her daughter coming home from the store. To her surprise her drunk slobbering neighbor stumbled in falling all over her. She's a very small woman but like they say dynamite comes in small packages. She pushed him off and out her front door. She drug him next door to his house and pushed him inside leaving the door wide open with his passed out his body laying half in and half out.

When her daughter got home she told her and her boyfriend the story. And then she called me... And after the first few moments of panic I couldn't help but laugh!! This is the kind of stuff that happened to her all of the time!

The next morning as she was leaving for work she noticed that Taser boy was still in the same spot she had left him... Half in and half out with the door wide open for the world to see in, in the middle of winter. Later that day her daughter ran in to him in passing and talked to him about the incident the night before.

Taser Boy decided to come and apologize and boy did he get a surprise!! She produced her 500,000 volt taser gun.

She then threatened him with the said taser and told him she would use it on him if he ever did that again and also if he didn't shovel her sidewalk and driveway from then on. And no she didn't let it go and in fact made sure to remind him to "keep shoveling! Remember that taser?!" To which he replied "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Now that's one way that single women survive!

Please if you have any stories you want to share message me or leave them in a comment.



When I decided to start this blog I had a few different reactions from people. Some were extremely encouraging and others... Not so much. This blog is about the struggles, goals, achievements, daily life, dating disasters, and lessons of a single woman surviving in a mans world.

NO this is not a man hating blog. It is however a black and white display of true events that have made me the person I am today. And I'm pretty proud of her!