It's Different for Girls

It's Different for Girls

There's a difference in how men and women handle a break-up, a heart break, broken trust, and the process of letting go. I'm not saying ALL men react the same but in general the reaction and the coping process are different. 

I recently was talking to/getting to really know a man that I have known for years. This guy has tried for a very long time to "date" me. It's been and off and on "goal" of his for a few years. I recently realized it was more of a "quest to concur" than a said "goal". 

I admittedly was scared, skeptical, and held back a lot for the first while, to protect myself. It seemed that this man had a sort of pattern and my gut was telling me that the only thing that would come out of this is hurt.... and I didn't listen as well as I should have. 

We started talking on a very regular basis and I was finally opening up about some very personal things and trying so hard to trust this man. I trusted him with some very dark periods in my recent past and felt like we had really started to form a bond and maybe I could trust him. And then the "slap in the face" that I had ignored from the beginning came one night while on the phone. We were having a very deep conversation on the phone about what the next steps were going to be and what we both wanted to see happen.... I let my guard down and told him my feelings. Told him I cared and was ready to try and make it work. Almost instantaneously I could see and feel that "slap in the face" happening.... he started to back step saying he didn't think it would work because we lived a few hours apart and he had tried that before... WHAT?!

Is this not something he thought about for the years, months, and days leading up to this point?? Why would he pursue me for so long to just say "never mind" the minute I said let's go for it? I was stunned and confused! And I shutdown and walked away.....

I was HURT! I was CONFUSED! I was PISSED! And I was SAD....

In the days and weeks that followed I heard this song.... it hit home. 

I started scrolling through FB a few weeks after this all went down and noticed (I'm a damn good investigator) the normal patterns you see on social media when a new relationship has began.... Yep he had another one on the line and that was when it all started to hit that I had only been a quest that he intended to concur. 

How had I fallen for this game? How could he already have someone else? And then the cloud in my brain started to clear and ALL of the patterns I had known about and had ignored concerning this man came flooding back.... I'm not saying he's a bad guy, though I have definitely called him a few choice names to my friends and in my own head a few times) but what kind of guy purposely messes with a woman's head the way he did? This is something I will never understand....

The only conclusion I can come up with is It's Different for Girls.... Men and women deal with these situations differently.