BRAIN OVERLOAD

BRAIN OVERLOAD

Have you ever had so many things running through your head that you feel like it may just EXPLODE?

I've always been one of those over thinkers.... I've tried many things over the years to "still" my brain, some things have worked for short periods of times but then sadly it stops. That's when I find myself not being able to sleep through the night and trying to solve all of my problems along with the worlds while normal people are sleeping.

I'm a person who does not function well with grey areas in my life. I've always been a black/white person to the extent that I get anxiety if some part of my life runs over in to grey for a period of time. I've been told I'm too organized, I plan too much, I have OCD, that I need to just let life happen the way it's supposed to.... Ya the last one freaks me out completely!! What do you mean just let life happen???? People really do that?

And then a few years ago a very smart woman told me that the more I tried to make everything in my life happen the perfect way I saw it in my head the more it went the opposite direction. When I sat back and thought about all of this I was shocked at just how right she was. She also told me that when I was feeling like I just couldn't handle a situation any more to the point where it was keeping me up at night that I really needed to learn to turn it over to God the only person who knew how it should play out in the best way for me. For those of you who knew me during this time... this was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Why you ask... let me explain...

I have always felt I was being held to a higher standard, that more was expected from me, and that I had to be the strong one. Early on the only way  thought  could potentially live up to this was by trying to control every aspect of my life so that no one could screw it up for me. HA! That never seemed to work out very well, but I never knew why until then.

The last few years have brought any struggles and hard times in my life... the difference now is that even though I struggle I have learned that its true turning all of it over to God is the only way I can make it through and stay on the path he has set for me. The path that leads back to him and to happiness. It doesn't matter if it's work, my love life, issue with my kids or friends... he has my best interest in mind always and knows what is best for me. Does it always play out the way I think it should.... (lol) no of course not, but it does play out in the best way and shows me that some things that happen are hidden blessings that have saved me from some even harder times in life.

So now when I go in to "brain overload", I make sure to stop what I'm doing, stop overthinking, and pray. No matter where I'm at, what I'm doing, or what time of day it is... I stop and I turn it over to God because he knows what is best for all of us and where we need to be in life to receive the blessings he has for us.

If you don't already do this try it.... and when your issue is worked out think back and realize when your "Aha" moment was and how much easier life was during that hard time in your life. Do I still struggle to give up this control at times... yes I do, but I have also realized that while I'm holding on to ego and trying to do the job of the most powerful man in our lives I'm only hurting myself.

CURVE BALLS.....

No matter how we try to fight it life always throws us curve balls... how we swing at these curve balls makes the difference on whether we score or strike out in life.

I haven't blogged for a while because life has definitely been throwing me some major curve balls. Some were easy to hit out of the park.... others there were a few strikes and it was a race to make it to first. There is one thing I have learned through all of this... no matter how strong we think we are... if we don't rely on a higher power (in my case God) we will never make it through.

My faith and my beliefs have only grown stronger through this rough patch in my life. Am I surprised by this? No not in the least bit.... so why is it that I struggle to give up the control 100% and only rely on him and his strength?? Part of me knows that it's an ego thing.... while the other part of me seems to think I should be strong enough to handle the curve balls that are thrown my way. And this is where I have to make the changes to let go of ego and control and turn everything over to the big guy upstairs.

Why is it that we allow ourselves to struggle instead of doing the things we know we should? Why do we let ego take us down? And WHY do we keep repeating the same cycles??

So this year my goal is too let go and turn it over to the big guy upstairs when I have not only my daily struggles but also the curve balls that are thrown my way. I know that I won't always hit one out of the park.... but I also know that I won't be left alone to strike out and lose the game.